I came out “officially” to my parents only back in 2009 – but loads happened before then! I always think you don’t come out once, you are always coming out, whether it is to your friends or family, and now with social networking there is Facebook, MSN, text messages and loads more if you do want to come out, it makes it even easier! Remember it is always your choice to come out – some people never do! But if you do choose to come out, how to, when, and to who there is loads of help and advice out there, such as things like the Norfolk LGBT Project!Before I came out I was really scared what people might say and think, especially my parents! But before I came out to them, I started telling other people who I knew like my friends. I think this really helps and as for me, I realised that actually, coming out wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be and eventually, I started to like telling people that I was gay! If you do chose to come out, first of all think about things like when to and to who. For example, you might not want to tell everybody in the whole word, just some close friends. Also remember that not everybody is comfortable with peoples sexuality and some even can be homophobic. Even though this is quite extreme, please be aware that there are people out there who are homophobic…so choose the people who you tell carefully! When you first come out, a good idea is to only tell people who you really trust! I have also mentioned that some of your friends might just not understand. They could be really good mates, but just don’t know how to help you and support you. Make sure you tell them that you understand, that this is new for you as well. It might be an idea to speak to somebody else (for example a youth worker) about how you can support each other. Also it might be not a good idea to come out when people are feeling different – for example when you have had an argument at home. If you need more information to support your friends as well, go to the library to find a book, pick up a leaflet or go online – if you do use the internet, remember that some sites with incorrect information. As well as this one, another good site to use Stonewall, which has lots of info on LGBT issues, including stuff about coming out.
I started going to Blah (the Norfolk LGBT Project’s youth group) a few years a go! I remember it was a Wednesday, and I didn’t really know what to expect when I walked through the door. Before I went, I phoned up, and a friendly youth worker answered the phone. I asked if I could come along and she said yes, and from then, the rest is history! Well… not quite! So I went in, sat on one of the squishy sofas (the red one opposite the door is my favourite – but strangely enough, I remember sitting on the one opposite the window!) Anyway, I also remember that I kept asking people if they were gay or not! I know it sound a bit strange, but I just couldn’t get over that there were other people, people like me in the same room!
Blah is great! I have made loads of new friends, got the chance to go to other LGBT events like Pride, we have been camping…loads of stuff. The group has helped me as well – my confidence has grown a bit more and I feel more that I can express my thoughts and feelings to the others in the group.
Blah, in a nut shell, is a safe space for young LGBT people under the age of 25 to come along, hang out, meet others, get help and advice and really just have a blast…it’s more than just going for the tea and biscuits!
David
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